When you hear the word “feedback”, what’s your reaction on the scale of negative to positive?
My first reaction used to be negative – uh oh – here we go – until I learned more about feedback.
At its best and most basic, feedback is a conversation in which each person understands what the other is saying – what each means to convey by his or her words. The message may be a positive one, such as an acknowledgement or a celebration; or one about things that are not going so well.
Feedback given and received in a genuine and productive way can allow for change to occur because the behaviour one person would like the other to change is made clear; and so is what that other person thinks of/ feels about the requested change…at the very least, an opening to a better situation is created.
Most of my clients, at some point, will ask me to coach them on feedback conversations – whether in a work or personal relationship context. When feedback is positive, such as commending a job well done, the conversation is easy. But it can be uncomfortable to tell someone you’d like them to change something in a job or relationship.
Sandwiching the “negative” between two positive comments is always a good approach. Plus we can learn to take the Bite out of Feedback by using these
BITE© Guidelines:
Behaviour
- Provide specific and relevant examples of the behaviour in question
- Don’t make it about the person or label them (e.g. you’re a slob); it’s about how they behaved or what they did (e.g. dropping laundry on the floor instead of in the hamper)
Impact
- Aim to have the receiver of the feedback understand how that behaviour affects you (or the team), whether or not that impact was intended
- “When you do XX, I feel YY. For example: When you leave your dirty clothes lying around, I feel treated like I’m your personal servant; When you show up late regularly, I feel you don’t respect my time.
Timing
- Timely, ongoing, can be informal – no “surprises” at annual reviews
- Giver and receiver are prepared for the conversation and at least somewhat receptive to it. Don’t initiate a feedback on behaviour in the middle of a deadline or stressful situation, unless it is required immediately to achieve a successful outcome to that deadline or situation.
Effective
- Balanced feedback
- Respectful
- Listen
For work performance feedback also note:
- Show that your intention is to be supportive and note what is positive
- Focus on only one or two developmental points
- Want to know the other person’s views and feelings
- Ask questions and listen
- Agreement that a change in behaviour will improve a situation is the first step in developing a performance improvement plan
